Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
