So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I came so hard my ears popped.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
