the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
