Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
