went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
