i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
