i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
