I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
