Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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