u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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