Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
