No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
