this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
