Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This is my gift to your gina
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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