giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
