i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My feet surprised me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
