sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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