Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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