Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
