Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i think im in europe. pls send help
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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