sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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