eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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