i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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