Too much gin, very little bucket
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
