Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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