So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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