Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
