ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
