I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
