Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
