I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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