Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
