none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
