its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
