Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
