Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Fuck appropriateness.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
