Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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