I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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