Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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