remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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