Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
