she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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