Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
