I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
