Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
