You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Couch. On fire.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
