If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
