I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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