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tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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