oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
