i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
