I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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