Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
