I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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