Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
