I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
