STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Pappa wants mamma naked
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
